Old Sonnets (2005)

Sonnet 12

I’m here, I’m near and I’m far away.

I love, I hate and live in air;

And I ask you to cross my way

And try to be my perfect pair!

I’m sad, I’m glad and I’m confused.

I cry, I die and sleep with fear;

But I forgot that you’re not used

To be around and always near.

I’m sick, I’m ill and I’m cold.

I scream, I dream and feel so blind;

I need no food, no fame, no gold!

Just you to be around and kind.

Still I can’t force you come on Earth -

‘Cause you’re so strong, so strong as Death!

Sonnet 13

Every day I feel my empty soul.

Noone inside, no love, no pain;

And I’m asking what’s my role?

And I’m praying, but in vain!

You gave me life, but no advice

What should I do to fit this world,

And I don’t know what is the price

I have to pay today, my Lord!

I need no fame and no rewards,

Just You please take away my cold!

But there’s no answer to my words:

Why do I have to live, My Lord?

And every day, and every night-

I feel alone, I feel so wild!

Sonnet 14

I am alone in this world of cruelty

Where I have no choice but to survive!

And again the question: Tell me why,

My Lord, you gave me such a life?

I’m breathing hard, I feel no air,

Inside my soul I have a knife!

And again the question: Is it fair,

My Lord, to punish me with such a life?

I have no friends my pain to share

Noone beside my feelings to revive!

And again the question: Who does care,

My Lord, that I’m complaining of my life?

I feel so tired of this world,

And still I want to live, My Lord!

(Ludmila, 2005)